Sex vs Love or Sex and Love. Does It Matter?

By Alison Ferrell


Sex vs Love or Sex and Love. Does It Matter?

Love is in the air! This February, discover what sex and love mean to you. The two words sex and love can be synonymous with each other in some cases but can mean completely different things in others. Simply put, love is an emotion or feeling whereas sex is a biological event. Consenting adults of any gender can fall in love and have sex with each other, love each other in a non-sexual way, or even have sexual intercourse without feelings of romance and love.


There is a constant debate over the meaning of sex and love, whether they go together or exist independently. Let us start with mentioning things that define sex in the absence of love:


· No Feelings Involved: Sexual intercourse may be considered as is, a biological event, simply sex, or casual sex in the absence of love or emotional bond between participants. Common slang used is hook-up, friends with benefits, one-night stand, no strings attached, etc.


· Strictly Physical Only: Sex is all about getting your physical sexual urges met for your enjoyment without necessarily caring or making it a point to help the other person have a good time.


· No Guilt or Loyalty Involved: Sexual partners are not necessarily exclusively involved with each other which leaves no room for feeling guilty about having other partners or questioning their loyalty.

· No Hanging Out: Sexual partners don’t necessarily meet in public, eat out, do activities together, or even spend the night. It is about getting what you want, as quickly as possible, as frequently as both parties agree.


· Strangers or Just Acquaintances: Sexual partners might not necessarily know each other well. It might be a one-night thing, or a recurring event but such partners don’t invest time in learning about each other.


In certain countries, having sex before getting into a committed relationship or getting married is looked down upon. It is important to understand that in a free society, consenting adults are free to do what they like to feel satisfied and fulfilled. Many people are not mentally, financially, or simply by choice not ready for commitment and exclusively and they should not be judged for it.



Coming to things that define love in the absence of sex:


· Love involves feelings of romance and when sex is absent, romantic gestures, hugs, kisses, compliments, gifts, etc., make up for it.


· Older couples with low libido and interest in sexual intercourse or sexless marriages are the best examples of love in the absence of sex.


· Such couples have a lot of respect, admiration, love, and care for each other, but the idea of sex does not entice them.


Such couples are often shown in a negative light but if both partners are comfortable and contended in such a relationship, nobody else should judge them for their choices.



Finally, here are a few things that define love in conjunction with sex:


This form of relationship is considered conventional. Having sex when you are in love is termed “making love,” which is more romantic, intimate, or even spiritual.


· Deep Connection and Care: Lovemaking occurs on a deeper level. You care about each other and want both participants to enjoy it. You are often willing to look past your sexual gratification to pleasure your partner.


· Affection and Bonding: The act of lovemaking is not limited to just genitals. Typically, there is a lot of intense eye contact, kissing, affectionate touching, and caressing before, during, and after sex. In such relationships, people tend to cuddle after sex and spend the night together.


· Not Just Sex: Such couples see each other in public, eat out, they often meet each other’s families and friends, travel together, have children together, and do fun activities together.


· Loyalty is Often Expected Default: Such couples tend to be monogamous. However, one of the partners, or both may stay open to other relationships if both agree.


Did you know emotional love and sexual desire have common neural pathways?

Which makes a strong case that if love is present, the sexual experience is more fulfilling. Such couples are the most common type and often get married, have kids together, and raise them together. Some believe that physical intimacy and emotional fulfillment enjoyed by such couples is higher than those who go for casual sex.



So, whichever of the aforementioned situations you are in, they all are equally empowering and satisfying in their way. Calling one better than the other is not productive as you feel differently in various phases of your life. Also, judging someone on their sexual preferences is not productive in a free progressive society.


This year, find the situation that best suits your current mental, physical and financial

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